Why do I watch my guilty pleasure shows?  Shows meant for teenage girls, filled with fantasy and romance and many other unrealistic things?  Why do I become addicted to them and find them so good?  It's because it's the one thing that gives me hope sometimes.  I know it's not realistic. I know it's vapid, pointless, and makes me out to be an airhead.

But there's one common thing with all of them, and it is what gives me hope and lets me feel good some days.  There is always that one couple, who aren't always together, but they care for one another no matter what.  He'd do anything for her, care for her no matter how much she screws up.  Even if he's angry at her for a really long time, in the end he still loves her and forgives her and they can be happy.  It's this one element that I love and that I look for.

It's when I feel the most alone that I find a new "guilty pleasure" show.  Just to have hope that it's possible for someone to love me that much.  That no matter how bad I screw up (because believe me, I screw up a lot), I'll still find love.  It gives me hope that I won't lose everything when I make mistakes.  Often, I need that hope.  Because I'm all alone most of the time.  Alone with my thoughts, and it can be a dangerous and lonely place.

So don't judge me, just for looking for proof that I deserve to feel okay.