Once upon a time, there was a girl who had a rather serious topic to discuss. She wished she could speak her mind in person however due to the nature of the topic she knew she could not. This post will contain the thoughts she was thinking of in the past few days. If there is a lesson to be learned from this it is this: do tread carefully, and think your words very carefully when dealing with a topic of a sensitive nature. It has taken me three days to be able to voice what has been bouncing around in my head.
Our dear girl wanted someone to know that they were extremely bright and special. And she wanted that person to know that they are so much brighter when they're sober and not under the influence of any substances. While sober, he talked more and it was far more obvious of what kind of mood he was in. He was more..."normal" is the word she supposed she would use to describe him. He was funny and kind and honestly was one of the smartest people she had ever met. However, once he was under the influence it was like a lightbulb went out. His whole personality disappeared. Maybe she was wrong, but it seemed like there was nothing left. It was like he was a shell, going about life but not really living it. And it was a shame to her because she could see the difference in him. It was heartbreaking.
She understood the need for the substance. She knew the comfort that a substance could give. However, that comfort wouldn't last forever. She knew that in the end smoking that stuff all the time wasn't really helping him at all. In fact, it was just dragging him further down then where he needed to be. The numbness might be the solution for now, but later on it wouldn't help him at all. It could result in his becoming yet another stereotype, and she didn't want to see that happen. The fact that he was so bright was not lost on her though he may say otherwise. There was an awful lot of good he could do but she didn't think that he saw it. And if he did, then she wondered why he gave it away.
She understood his stubbornness, very, very well and knew that it was a challenge to make him or anyone else see otherwise. However, she knew that she was right. Facts do not lie. She believed that he was convinced that she knew nothing about what he partook in but she wanted him to know that he was wrong. She knew far more then she cared to admit, both through statistics and knowing personal stories. While he would never believe her, nor listen to her, she wished he would, just once. No matter what she said or did, she still knew when she was right or wrong. Sometimes she was just too stubborn to admit it but in this particular case she knew without a doubt that she was right. Deep down she knew that he knew it too. She wished she could convince him that it wasn't worth it. She supported him in all that he did and would never say anything against it because she did understand. But she worried about him sometimes, now more than before, because she hated seeing that lightbulb go out.
She wanted to say that she was sorry for medling because she thought he wouldn't like it but she wanted him to know that she did so only because she cared very much for him and really only wanted the absolute best for him. Whether he could see it or not.
- Lo
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