i was constructed for you and you were molded for me.

There is no remedy for love but to love more.
~ Henry David Thoreau

Need I say any more?  This week has been horrible on my emotions, but at the end of the day I still fall asleep thinking of him.  That could be because I fall asleep while texting him, but I think the feeling goes deeper than that.  I know that I love him.  I think that this love has seeped outward from my heart and has just taken over my entire mind, body, and soul.  If I could describe it, I would say that it consumes me.  He is everything to me, now and forever.  I know this for sure.  I will always love him, even if one day he doesn't love me back.

Let me tell you a little story.  I once met a boy in a strange place.  Immediately, I knew he was different.  He was unlike any other boy I had met in this place.  He was funny, and he was nice to me right away.  He went along with all my crazy stories and he didn't mind my over-usage of emoticons.  I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't interested in him.  But I avoided  these feelings, for a little while at least.  However, I soon gave into those feelings and I thought he had some as well.  But far too soon, I was proven wrong.  Let's just say he changed his mind about these feelings.  And so ensued another two years of friendship, filled with enough difficulties to last a lifetime.  We made it through though.  And now here we are.

Only three short years later, I'm back at the same place I was right after we met.  A few years older and wiser and hopefully less naive, but the feelings are the same.  Actually, they are quite a bit more intense than last time.  But once again, I'd be lying if I said I didn't worry sometimes about a repeat.  I know it's not fair, that he's far more committed than last time and we've talked about it.  But it's still so hard, especially when I think I'm not good enough.  He's a beautiful person and I'm lucky to have gotten to know him.

What amazes me in particular is that he seems just as committed and serious and happy as I am.  In fact, it feels like loving a reflection of myself, in terms of emotions concerning this relationship.  That's something I feel so lucky for - that I love someone who seems to love me just as much in return.  As long as I can continue to surprise him and make him happy and be everything positive in his life, then I think I could be content for the rest of mine.  I love him that much.

It scares me that I love someone so seriously at this young age.  And yet, I wouldn't change a thing.  Young true loves are rare, but I think we could have one.  That sounds really serious and like a lot of commitment, but to be honest, I don't want anyone else.  I only want him and I know he's the only one I'll ever want.  I have some weird kind of confidence in this.

So if you're reading, know I love him.  Know that I would do anything for him and that I'll always love him.  Know that if I could, I would never leave his side.  Know that he makes me happier than I've ever been and could ever do.  Know that he is everything to me.

- Lo