Monday, April 25, 2011

if i ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe.




The best way to become acquainted with a subject is to write a book about it.
~ Benjamin Disraeli

The hardest part of anything for me is the beginning.  Once I get started, ideas, words, and actions come easily.  But it often takes so long just to find the right introduction or beginning.  Take these blog posts, for example.  I'll sit here for a good fifteen minutes, trying to figure out what I want to say and how I want to say it.  Then once I force myself to write something, the ideas just flow.  I'll just start writing and not thinking as much about what I'm  saying.  Then, I go back and edit it all later.  Often, I'll change the beginning.  But it's just getting that start that gives me trouble.

This translates into real life as well.  If I want to meet someone new, I'll fret for days over how I should approach it.  But once I get up the courage to start talking to them, I just go with the flow.  Or, if I want to talk about something specific with someone I already know, I have to think about what I'll say first.  It's like I psych myself up and get all nervous over nothing.  Actually, that's exactly what it is.  I'm so afraid of screwing up and getting things wrong that I'd rather not take the risk sometimes.  It's a stupid quality of mine.

It's just a little thing that bothers me, but it makes it really difficult to get anything done if I can't even start it.  I should just stop trying to be right and doing the exact right thing all the time, haha.

- Lo

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